i got us presents. or arrested. we shall see!
we got our roommate high for the first time. He went into his room alone and watched Malcolm in the middle for three hours
may or may not have recieved head in the car before we came in.
First straight guy ever blown in a Prius. Congrats.
She had a little wicker basket of condoms by her bed. Disturbing yet convenient.
ride him like a prized pony all the way to orgasm town.
Oh, and that ugly chick transformed into a veritable goddess when she came back at 3AM with a handle of vodka and 100 chicken wings
It's ok for me to have his baby but I can't be his friend on fb. Wth is wrong with this
I have glow sticks stuck to my boobs and a missed call from the 911. I'd say last night was a success.
My drug dealer is making me hot tea during the snowstorm...I'm a fan.
Just realized I could have five different dicks in me the day of valentines day but no real date. My life
I stopped his blowjob to raise 3 fingers & whistle the hunger games tune to the people walking past the window
the people next to us at the red light cheered for you while you puked out the window...
Then, he ate me out while I watched Bo Burnham. Best. Night. Ever.
Disregard everything I texted you last night. Oh, and disregard me hooking up with your boyfriend.
I woke up in the middle of the night on all fours turning circles in my bed! No more patron for me!
Randomize
