after a few more beers I realized that both my wife and I like Latin men.
Charging the asians next door to us $5 a page to print their final papers because theirs broke. Bars close in 2 hours, lets go
You tried to convince our cab driver that your $2 bill was worth $11.70
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
This is absurd. I need a man. Or even a moderately-clean hobo will do at this point.
Just so we're clear, that's a yes to the honey, but if you get marshmallow fluff anywhere near my body we are never doing this again
I just got my hands on some dry ice. How do you feel about coming home to a mystical wizard toilet?
Just fucked a MILF from Alaska. I love traveling.
I want to get "Patrick Kane" wasted tonight
I am one hundred percent down for that
WHAT IF I SAT OUTSIDE AND STARTED SCREAMING THE LYRICS TO O CANADA WOULD THAT FIX IT
PLEASE DON'T
You're seeing with your vagina, not your eyes.
Also, fucking on half deflated air mattresses is a great full body work out.
Yeah bc that's when u should take a Molly. At a house party with everyone from ur hometown
How do you explain to your mom that you let your friend stab you in the leg while drunk and high on coke?
Walked off the dance floor to find Gabe hitting on a dad bod at the bar. It was my Dad. Awkward is an understatement.
Randomize
