making your facebook status TEQUILA is like basically saying "im easy tonight. feel free to take advantage"
just gave another girl i passed on the walk of shame a high five
I'd rather make snow angels in a pool of elephant shit.than sleep with him.
when he put a condom on for a handjob cuz he didn't want to "blow his load in the car" i started to question my choice in guys..
Well, I've taken the art of car peeing to new heights
Because everyone is allowed one half drunken 7:30 am walk back to campus in a cowgirl costume, right?
he came in the room wearing gloves & rapping while eating a corndog
knight in shining armor
Dude you of all people would miss her giving him a handjob in front of the whole party
If I die tonight, I want you to have the rest of my nachos. And my porn collection.
My boobs looked so good under the black light I saw a girl physically cover her boyfriend's eyes.
We just took an Eskimo family picture.. It's pretty cute honestly
Somehow i instagrammed my acceptance letter while blacked out. Then my grandma was the first to comment on it. I got over 50 likes....Phd here I come....
I threw up in my brother's Easter basket
Checked my bank account this morning...apparently I went to 7-11 at 4am and spent $22 on taquitos. New all time low for me.
I ate all of them. New all time low for ME.
EMERGENCY SUBJECT CHANGE. SHE DOESN'T KNOW.
Randomize
