The vibrating part of my dildo broke, now I have to rely on gyration.
I can't remember last night. I must have yelled at your girlfriend til she cried again.
Yup.
you just stared at your feet and said some shit about the molecules dancing and how you had just solved physics.
Why the hell does jager make you get to the point of having to army crawl around cause you cant feel your legs and scream jaga bombs when puking??
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I bought a goldfish, named it after my ex-girlfriend, and let it die. It's really the little things in life.
Thanks for not stopping me when I decided to call my mom at 2 in the morning to ask her where I was born
We fucked then made friendship bracelets, his mother taught him right!
Sorry bro I thought you were kidding. If I'm actually jerking off I usually said "Just a sec getting dressed" or something
Reasons why I love cats more than people: 1. They're not fucking people.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Talking to him sober hurts my brain
This mustache is awesome. I can't pass by a mirror without looking in it and thinking damn, I'd like to give that guy a handy.
I refuse to believe this is a lapse in my dick hunting skills. It's gotta be the gods playing a game.
Somehow reaching for the flaming hot cheetos ended up in the best sex of my life
We need to borrow someone's dog. Just so we can non-creepily go to PetSmart and watch all the other dogs take photos with Santa
Forget Covid themed costumes. I need one that attracts a quality penis
preferably one with a six figure job and a boat
Randomize