just woke up and he was jacking off in the corner.. am i being punked?
Drunk fuck. Had to tell him that the 5 second rule does not apply when your in the bathroom at the hockey game.
She solidified the fact that the icon from Wendy's is the only ginger I care for
sperm doesn't mix with malibu too well
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
When I unzipped my pants I said "Release the Cracken"... she dug it so we're getting married soon.
they're using the ping pong table for ping pong. it's weird
Its official. Girls from Indiana do not give rim jobs.
I dont feel as bad coming home this baked because I gave my 14 year old sister a no drugs talk last night.
So did u puke in his bathroom or all over his Olympic medals? Please say medals...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yep I can make a seagull sound. It's identical. I tried it. They thought I was talking to them. It's pretty cool.
On a side note Tyler is buying beer from a gas station in a panda suit priceless
Trimming my pubes at 1 AM, drunk, listening to Stevie Ray Vaughn. What has become of me.
Jesus christ stop updating me about every aspect of your life.
Like I would feel weird too if you just cancelled our wedding, cut off all your hair and started twerking everywhere
She tried to fuck me right at the bar in front of everyone. She actually got my pants unzipped before I realized what was going on.
He started planning our future mid-hookup. You tell me how my night was.
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