So much for the toy store...Not a butt plug in the entire place. See you tonight.
Jack off faster Americas best dance crew is beyonce themed
who's fault is it that she tells me today she is only 16 because i definately met her at the bar...
when your english prof writes "this was a real good paper" on your essay, you know you're at the wrong college
My male hookup buddy is gonna meet my female hookup buddy, let the awkward hookup games begin!
Woke up on the kitchen floor cuddling with the dummy we made of you. Hope your internship is going well.
Was booty called last night and I was so blacked out that my roomie made me puke before going to "eye of the tiger." Why I'm still single is beyond me
I think I just cured my dogs munchies
I'm not even mad. I was just trying to get a boner, you're the one that had to see that
Aw don't be embarrassed. It was all good fun! We've all been there. You can't come to vegas and NOT get a little alcohol poisoning. That's like going to church and not praying.
Someone the age of your son tried to go home with me from the bar last night
He cannot be your sugar daddy. He looks like a literal hot dog.
You need to stop showing people the things i drunk-text to you... i have a reputation to uphold here
i ate her out in full view of all her roomates. the word awkward doesnt even cover it.
One of your 'guests' left her bra in the kitchen.
Dude, does it look like any of the women I bring home wear bras?
Randomize
