I feel like dying is the new "adopt an african baby"
So we sucessfully lit our bathtub on fire. Thought you should know.
it appears as though my vagina has gotten the best of me again
i just traded 2 rolls of toilet paper for half a water bottle of vodka. i love college
We have 24 days left before I leave for college and 21 condoms left in the stockpile. Are you up for the challenge?
I've reached the gravitational age where it's very hard to get my face and my boobs in the same shot without some kind of yoga involved .
Plus, it's just valuable. Virgin pee is very well-priced.
If you take a post shower shit just get back in bed. You're better off starting your whole morning all over again.
I just shit a hot coal. Pretty sure it's that fireball shot from yesterday.
EXCEPT MY COUSIN SAW MY SEX TAPE!
I appreciate the I'll come bail you out of jail tone in the text
I cuddled with a man named Pickles
I came so hard my ears popped.
I'm wearing men's underwear
I don't know what to do with that information...
It was platonic naked porno viewing, I swear.
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