Is there a reason "Call me when you're legal" is written on my arm? I'm 22..
I just want to sing "highway to the danger zone" when I'm taking his pants off.
oh my god i am going to vomit. and little burgers wearing crowns are going to come out.
I swallowed your vile semen and you don't know what color my fucking eyes are!?
I make my boyfriend pay for half of my birth control. We call it his monthly rent.
the bouncer watched the girl drop her ID, saw me pick it up and say OMG SHE LOOKS LIKE ME, and then let me use it to get into the bar
I just peed in a flower pot on the veranda while crying and holding a drink
I was having trouble getting it up so she grabbed it and said "no, it's too big to fail"
I just shit my pants and had a heart attack. Simultaneously. May or may not be related to this game.
Goddamnit Shari. He's not called Pencil Dick because he's good a sketching...
Hooked up with a guy that looked like Dean Thomas. Mediocre at best, but I stopped myself from calling him Dean in bed. So I got that going for me.
all night she kept rolling over and mumbling something about wanting an extendable retractable urethra.
And I am bleeding like slutty girl #1 In a horror movie
Truth be told it's significantly easier to get over someone when they file a police report on you
Campus scavenger hunt! and by scavenger hunt I mean all the pharmacies are sold out of Plan B.
Randomize
