your butthole totally puckers for the ginge
Ok pretty sure I just saw Mike O'Malley walking through the parking lot. I wanted to see if I followed him, would he lead me to the acro-criag, i've always wanted a crack at that bitch.
whoa...plan B gets you drunker quicker.
I just saw what sperm look like swimming around. I'm not happy with what you've put in my stomach.
I just had a librarian tell me that "wikipedia is like sex"
When he expanded on the analogy it actually made sense. "you're going to do it either way, so I'm just going to tell you how to do it safely."
"Guy Time" translaed into 10 shots apiece and me waking up covered in my own blood.
Of course, you get to fuck all night while I'm stuck in the girls bathroom sucking a limp dick for coke
I think we should get high on adderall and nair each other again for New years.
I cannot be this high in this house. This house has so many of my secrets in its walls.
He said he was gonna go pull a lochte and the next thing we know he's outside ass naked peeing in the neighbors kiddie pool.
I should rephrase... I'm trying to not sit on other peoples faces besides my boyfriends.
I didn't know that all of his brothers would be hot and musical too. That's a dick move on behalf of biology.
This is the second time this month a hookup cried when I left...bro get your shit together bar does NOT equal wife 😬
He just looks like he'd be good in bed. He looks like he has a lot of anger built up in him and all I'm saying is that if he took out on my vagina I'm cool with that
He wants to play improv games now whenever he gets drunk. Sometimes I just do not have the energy for that kind of a thing
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