I think I just saw someone hide a body.
Just FYI I rubbed poison oak on all your sheets and blankets so we all will know who you hooked up with (in about a day)
If Jimminey Cricket were here with me he would be so disappointed.
I threw up so much beer last night that my puke had a nice head on it.
Today in class was pretty awsome. I dont feel like i have to throw up and im actually paying attention. This is a first for friday
the more i look through evidence of last night, the less i seem to remember.
Yeah, he has a kid now! Shit... You know you're all grown up when the people you used to have threesomes with become parents
Oh that could end badly if you get them mixed up.. you know who I think you should focus on?? THE ONE WITH THE BIG BLACK COCK, just sayin
Matt's offering to breast feed it.
I can't believe I came last night staring into my profile pictures eyes.
Nothing says Happy Holidays like sending a picture of your ass to the wrong manager.
I grabbed the pretzel bag with my toes last night. I think that day of yoga had paid off.
You know you've hit a new slutty low when you're simultaneously sexting and having a tea party with a 4 year old
He said they were his favorite shoes.. So I threw one down the sewer. Now he'll keep searching the house for the other one. Sweet silent revenge.
I'd like to know who hasn't seen my tits tonight.
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