Should I shave my pubes in the shape of a top hat so I can nickname my junk Abe Lincoln?
I've never had a woman show me her venereal disease results in a bar before.
He grabbed every salt shaker in the apartment and we haven't seen him since. He really really doesn't want to shovel snow anymore.
He was the only guy who ever made me cry..
Who, the park ranger who made you dump out your beer on the beach?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I am going to dream of scrotums tonight, I just know it.
We need to figure out what we are doing for halloween asap. I'm not going out like a punk ass bitch burger king again this year.
He puked over my shoulder into the toilet. The guy in the next stall sounded totally appalled.
Hahahaha who is sleeping in the garage on our beer pong table?
I'm 50% okay with that amount of body contact... plus/minus 7% based on where blood may flow.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I tried to settle their lesbian roommate fight by turning on Pretty Wild
I told the American that we should start banging in Canada incase I get hurt and have to go to the hospital.. is that rude to say?
He was telling me how he was trying to grow up. And then 2 minutes later, he told me he was tripping on lsd for the first time.
You ruined a cute cat because your lack of horniness
I just racked up a fucking ginormous hospital bill because I came so hard I had an asthma attack
it will be a surprise...all I can say is stripper clown.
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