During sex he wiggled his hips and said "I'm turning the ice cream" Deal breaker?
just spent about 3 1/2 hours looking for a dollar so I can buy weed.
suggestion: become a stripper.
on the way to work, i saw an empty wine bottle sitting in the middle of an intersection. i thought of you.
i can respect that.
Just bought two budlight beers with a can of tuna at the bar
i gave him the "yep, i was your girfriend's collegiate lesbian sex story" head nod
the size of his penis is telling me NOOO! but his bank account is telling me YESSS!
So my girlfriend used a threesome to tell me she wanted to leave me for a girl... Not entirely sure how I should feel about that.
The only way i can get arrested is public drunkenness or defacing a national monument. Trust me, i have already looked it up.
was i strangled at any point last night? or was his dick just that long
I don't care if he was in that porno. He looked like he knew what he was doing.
These kids are nice. Shrooms make everything so nice.
Some rando guy literally just put my shoes on and tied them for me because I'm drunk... Is this what it feels like to be a princess?
I swear going to your house is like going to a strip club, no matter what happens I get glitter on me.
I'm on the porch day drinking and the neighbor is in his yard screaming about his amazing sandwiches, maybe we should move.
Why is it that the asexual in our group is the one that gets laid the most often??
Randomize
