I'm driving in the middle of nowhere, and I just saw a stuffed Barney hanging from a noose on a tree. Maybe I should turn around.
Nights like last night are what makes cleaning up the vomit in the morning worth it
On the way home from Florida I threw up at the beginning border and ending border of 6 states. You win this year Spring Break.
The douche that always wears spandex at the gym just walked into class with a dick going into his mouth drawn on his face. The professor said "rough night" and he still has no idea. Tyring to get a pic
i'm sorry, i thought "hey, she wants TO FUCK YOU" was a good enough cue
i lost virginity while listening to candy shop. something in my life has finally gone right.
Well I sent him a pic of my vagina and sent back a pic of his puppy....so there's that
I'll answer your question with a question: Are you gonna be too high?
I just fucked her in her boyfriends bathroom... he was in the room sleeping.
aha we'll just say that my mind was so focused on A Bugs Life that it was hard to maintain an erection
This is a whole new generation of premature ejaculators
If Boring and Monotone had a love child, it would be this guy.
He asked if I had any questions. Apparently, "how thick is the stick up your ass" was not a correct question.
Also I ordered a dildo and I'm not sure if I want it still, so there might be a free dildo in your future
she glued two packs of googly eyes on you while you were blacked out. We talked her out of using her hot glue gun.
ummmm thanks
Randomize
