And now we're talking about squeezing babies out of vaginas...
I'm gonna do things to you that will make the neighbors want to move.
oh God, I have a dick of a middle schooler
I wrote a list of all my homework due in the next few weeks. I feel I've done enough for tonight.
Day 3 of Lent and I would already kill a puppy if God would give me permission to masturbate
its was like we drinking an entire bottle of mystery
You went home with a man in a loincloth
I just watched him leave in half a loincloth. Don't you just love Halloween???
She was purple for Halloween. She literally spray-painted herself purple and called it a costume. It won't come off.
Haha. Last winter I went through this phase where id go to the bars with my own giant goblet and demand to be served white wine and red bull hah
Grandpa just put 6 jello shots on his plate. My aunt tried to take them away; he flipped her off. Living in the retirement home has hardened him.
As he was cumming he yelled "Yahtzee" then said im free to go. Thats my one night stand
Had a dream I went to Disney to visit you and then I got really drunk and puked all over these little kids in line
Don't do anything I wouldn't do. Thankfully for you that list does not include male models.
Also you can't just sext a Michelle quote from Full House.
does anyone know where bryan is?
last i saw he was naked, and crying in the bathroom because there was no more booze.
Randomize
