I just watched a woman break three wood planks with her boobs. I don't know how I feel about that
Tried to bribe the bartender with wedding cake. Felt bad for not giving her a tip.
Sorry for eating those cheese fries out of your hands last night
This is one of those moments when you do what I say or I come stalk you down like a gazelle.
I was taking a bath while he walked in, sat down on the toilet, and said "its like a baby, I can see it crowning."
We dropped so many bottles they would only give us plastic cups. We actually drank ourselves back to preschool.
I'm just going to lay in a blanket cocoon of self pity for the next few months.
I sent two dick pics to a wrong number and one was in .gif format so it was helicoptering all over the place. I single handedly ruined a child's life.
I'd say things got weird when I started doing lines of molly in the box.
The family next to you was not pleased
If Anthony Weiner can get in trouble for sexting 2 or 3 girls I dunno how politicians will make it in 10 years.
Lol I would vote for a guy that is trying to be a senator that has a viral video of him motorboating a topless chick
Is there evidence of another human being getting away with this/ not dying?
How was jagerbomb pong?
It was like communism. Great in theory. Terrible when put into practice
Mike fell asleep with his hand down my pants. I'm clearly an enticing person.
She grabbed the other one and started playing tug-o-war against the blonde chick. I told you getting my nipples pierced was a good idea
Third time this week I've caught co workers dry humping. Quarantine really changes people's priorities.
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