it actually wasnt that awkward...i planned on saying hello and walking away..then she asked if i wanted to go to lunch and i looked at her chest and said absolutely
This threesome is so guaranteed that dinner feels like a charade
I do have sympathy for you. It's just not going to manifest as a blow job.
Just picture a dyson vacuum with razor blades. That's how it felt.
OH YEAH AND FORGOT TO THANK YOU FOR THE lack of WARNING THAT HE WASN'T CIRCUMSIZED.
You pulled out a fucking recorder and started playing along with all the songs on your playlist and refused to hit the j
Just had an epiphany about how to drink more effectively in the shower. While walking across campus carrying a Franzia bag like Santa
Of course I have to cross through a walk for hunger
She's trying to sext her husband for the first time. I'm feeding her lines. It is 3 am and I am playing Cyrano for my wasted big sister TELL ME I AM NOT THE BEST SISTER IN LAW ON THE PLANET.
Now theyre filling the kiddie pool water with boxes and boxes of jello powder and im not sure if thats a sign i should leave or what
I just heard myself say the sentence "I'm gonna go to the bank then take a nap". 8 year old me just slapped my present self through the space-time continuum for being an old fuck.
If you can't seal the deal with her, I will. And you know I'll be successful. So there's your incentive
I probably would do him if given the chance but how awkward would Bible study be after that.
so i was about to call you for your birthday but then i started making out with this guy... and i feel bad but i felt like you'd understand
According to my bank account I spent a penny some where
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