Thats something to write home to mom about
Dear Mom, I had sex last nt w a girl that liked to b choked. Im n love. Cant wait for you to meet her
did not feel like going to store to get condoms last night so went to her pantry and got a sandwich bag and a rubberband
did it work?
nope
I think we should see other people.
Already working on it.
Pls stop me from telling anyone else my broken blood-vessel + splint are "climax-related" injuries.
Just orgasmed in traffic. Starting to have feelings for my commute.
This makes me miss penis. Not in a horny way... but in a sad, sentimental way.
Carrying your RA back to her room wasn't the conclusion I was expecting for the first thursday back
Also what is the name of Americas thing where we had a holy obligation to expand westward? I'm going name my new lighter that.
I think I'm goin to jail but either way I had a blast.
In other news: I found out that my mom used to fuck my newest fuck buddy's dad when they were in school.
I told her shower beers are even better when you have someone in there with you and she said she's been looking for a new drinking buddy. It's a goooooo
I lost Mario kart three times but I got laid so it wasn't the WORST night I've ever had.
I think i got my first booty call. it was like she came to my house. sex. leave.
Congratulations. Welcome to the wonderful world of quick dirty secret sexy time.
thanks... i think. haha
My breath smells like gin and sadness
I must be pretty memorable. I was walking past this dude and he goes "There's the Scotch Girl." I have ZERO clue who he is, but I'm definitely the Scotch Girl.
Randomize
