Ever have a poop and think... that has no business coming out of a human? Like it looks like a sick dog's or a ferral animal's?
She wouldn't stop saying her own name. Like a damn pokemon.
So I just googled the ten commandments... Were fucked.
She was crying and singing Taylor Swift on repeat. I'm never drinking with her again.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we found you standing over and eating out of my neighbor's garbage can
If you were a real friend you would have told me you saw me in a porno despite how awkward of a convo it is. You act like I should always know when I'm being recorded.
I could have made money off of that but no you had to wait 2 years to drunkenly tell me this shit.
Every shot buddy I have I end up blowing. I don't know whether this pattern is good or bad.
You gave me your shirt to use as a napkin every time I spilled beer on myself. Before we went to the bar.
You told me my blanket felt like ground beef.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just got biofeeze on my vag. Weirdest sensation everrr. Can't decide if I want to cum or cry
Cheez-its and a bottle of cab...for under $10 you could win this girls heart
I'm sun burnt so instead of getting drunk and trying to sleep with you, how about we get naked and you scratch my body and rub lotion on me while I rub one out?
Is someone on their way here yet? I'm way too tweaked to be here alone
We will just distract him with tacos and porn.
Cum just came out of my nose. That is all.
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