Flowers- 20. Dinner-50. Drinks- 25. Hotel- 150. The look on his face when I tell him I'm on my period? Priceless.
the best part is my dad got arrested for the same thing at the same bar 30 years ago... so he cant be mad
idk if you're aware of this...but we could potentially have the greatest hate sex...ever.
would really like to know how the teddy bear got super glued to my testicles.
I just need three more girls to complete my 'Freak-a-leak' bang list. Know any girls named Zahra, Shavon, or Daronda?
I'm sorry but I have WAY too many sex/ hookup related bruises on visible areas to be going home tmrw
"I wasn't planning on buying a chicken, but I bought it anyway." --some guy on the bus with a chicken
"Yeah, I only have nine toes." --that same guy
Bad things happen to those who bang their lab partner at the beginning of the semester.
Feels like someone put a cigar out where my butthole used to live
Took "drink until he's cute" to a whole new level last night...
I hooked up with Spider-Man on the hood of Santas car. I kept saying that he could shoot his web at me. Also I found Waldo. Overall good night.
My roommate is downstairs drunk, smoking, and listening to a self help DVD. Please dear God don't let this be the Ghost of Christmas Future.
I can't even spell what he said he was on. And I had to call 4 people before someone had heard of it.
Should I apologize for the loud sex I had in his living room? Because I'm not going to.
Definitely not.
You showed up at 4 am holding a beer and wearing a wig you apparently found in the dumpster.
That explains some things...
Randomize
