Spring semester is just not the same w/o you
this party is like a fast-foward into the future when im 40 and married with children
why do guys feel they can ask questions when im blowing them? you'd think they'd know my answer will always be "mmhmhmhmmm"
i dont care that its taken 20 hrs to pee without hurting, BEST HATE SEX EVER.
no, i dont want the owner to like me bc i dedazzled my vagina
grown man stumbling drunk down green street wearing nothing but a hot dog costume and crying. its not even noon yet.
Thanksgiving break drinking is a marathon, not a sprint, and i need to be well rested
so why are there three stressed gay men and a bowl of vomit in the smoke room?
Welcome to texting with Mike. You're now leaving the sober section and headed to our insanely high bad decision making portion of mike. Enjoy the trip.
You know Im horny if Im walking around in my lingerie and sex robe. It's my field of dreams mentality. If I wear it, he will come.
When I said 'i love my boyfriend' I didn't mean 'send me a picture of your penis'.
I broke up with him in the bar & then asked him if he wanted to have a contest to see who gets the most numbers. I say I took that break up well
You know when you get a stripper pays your bail. You got good wood.
So pro tip. do not order drugs from india and then assume you know your tolerance level.
Wow you are like a taller more attractive sex Yoda.
Randomize
