Theres this tee in the mall and it says all girls just wanna have safe sex. U make me think thats a lie
I was happy to be the center of attention..until i realized why everyone was staring
No, I'm never going to get a job bc I don't know anything about public relations except that Chris Crocker wants everyone to leave Britney alone.
She's Christian and monogamous. Two wammies right there. No amount of convincing will turn that bi for a night.
please don't text me until you can spell three letter words again.
If I ever mention marriage force me to Brazil to do coke and strippers until I die.
I was trying to pee in the bushes and the person who lived in the house where the bushes were planted started knocking on the window to get me to stop peeing in their bushes
Just saw a man downtown with a cat just riding on his shoulder like a furry parrot. He may be homeless, but I think he's your soul mate.
But that's fine. Because I am an independent woman who is going to pull some jane Goodall shit and save the world one day......or be a porn star......either way they are going to wish they had fucked me.
You know you are high when you are so glad it wasn't your freshly buttered raisin bread that fell on your foot. It was your $400 Ipod
I want Walter White to make me a bologna sandwich while I'm chained to a support
i believe in u and ur pee
sometimes i forget what nice tits i have and then i spend a month brushing my teeth naked in the front of the bathroom mirror, and i remember.
Idk... I'm not sure why anyone would use a flesh light in general. Let alone hook it up to a wifi device.
Because, after all, nothing quite says life in 2020 than doing laundry at 9:40 on a Friday morning to make sure you have masks and underwear.
Randomize
