I don't think ill make it tonight the floor wont let me walk
Espresso. Can't sleep. Love puppies
So... I just got back from the chiropractor... And he said I have a slight neck injury from head banging too much. Fuck yes.
I have started doing my homework in bars. It just feels right.
Did you get your crutches off the street sign?
Stand up sex. Extremely, extremely difficult. I now know how pointe dancers feel.
You told me to remind you that the bruise on your ass is from when you danced on the table at Ziggy's, saw a cop and tried to 'fly away'.
Koalas always seemed like really high little puppy kittens to me.
Do you think you could handle being our babysitter if we roofied ourselves for fun??
Martha Stewart has had a one night stand and is unsure if she's had a threesome. I no longer feel slutty.
i tried giving myself a bikini wax.1. i hate you 2. i think i'm dying
After we finished having phone sex he proceeded to serenade me with Ave Maria. It was magical.
i need some fresh meat. meat that has a license and a job and isn’t a FULL-blown alcoholic. partial i could tolerate, bc, haha, let’s be honest, me likey my drinkies.
she just sent our roommates a message asking them for a parakeet. are you gonna call later?
I woke up with a jacket; in it passport, hockey tickets, sunglasses, credit card, bank transactions
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