Gayer than 8 guys blowing 9 guys
wow, that really makes you stop and think.
i either just vomited on a lesbian or a small boy
so i havent checked yet but im almost positive that my left ass cheek is bruised. any idea what happened last night.
what the fuck man? i was JUST texting you the same thing. FUCK
btw i have an angry voicemail of you yelling at me to get you a sandwich or die.
Either I'm losing my touch or ED is running rampant in 20 something men now
The idea of snorting emergen-c actually just crossed my mind.
I'm in the "I'd rather have Carbs than Dick phase" part of my Life right now. YOU tell me how much Skinny Sex I'm having.
Well, on the plus side, the hospital gave me a shirt that says "Makes a bad ass look good"
It was about the point the universe collapsed in on itself and I was a singularity of insanity that I realized I was tripping balls.
Just got a Snapchat of his dick with the caption 'We miss you.'
That's true love, there.
I know it's wrong but I'm human. Now get over here, tie me up, feed me pizza and Fuck the crazy out of me. Please.
I wore Yonce braids out last night and made out with a man and a woman #bowdown is right
She's eating hot cheetos out of the bag with chopsticks, Matt, how is she NOT my soulmate?
No joke. There's a picture of the priest I made out with on my parents' refrigerator.
If he doesn’t slap your ass with his drumsticks, then I don’t wanna hear about it.
Randomize
