We're pretty sure the 'pocket' aspect of the hot pocket is unnecessary. Testing our theory now.
Told a girl i wanted to feel her bellybutton from the inside... I need to learn how to flirt
He asked for his proof of insurance and he pulled out a Magnum by mistake. All of the sudden gignger was looking real good to me.
$1 pitcher night should be outlawed.
today was the first day of rush. talking to girls all day makes me sick of having a uterus.
I guess the cop knew i was on a walk of shame and felt bad...i got to play with the siren the rest of the way home
The dog just did a longer kegstand than anyone at the party
We talked about all of the sex positions that would better allow him to feed me grapes. I think I'm in love.
It was the worst sex ever. All she did was tap on my balls with her hands like she was in a reggae band.
ya she's here .. it looks like she just gave up and passed out on the floor
My roommate is either deadlifting a bus or having sex. I can't tell which
I'm not sure New Orleans is real. Even the grocery stores sell vodka.
thankfully we both ride of shamed home together on razor scooters in dresses because we stopped for breakfast sandwiches too
We are such grown women, dealing with life's problems one shower beer and reckless makeout session at a time.
Just let me pee on you and I'll leave you alone.
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