You'll put your fingers inside me but you won't be my FB friend?
i'm home, then i'll come over
ightttt gangstaaaaaaaaaaaa
nvm.
Just watched my manager erase "we've been 2 days wo an accident" and change it to "0" these ppl are too high.
okay, prove you're not drunk to me. write 5 true sentences about me with correct grammar.
I am sober. Because I don't drunk. It is bad. People die. I like Domenico because o he bag women what up?
WHY AM I ALWAYS DEFEATED BY THE LATIN COCK?!?!
She said I came to for a minute, shouted IHOP!! and then shook my head and said no before passing out again
Everything tastes like Lysol. Am I dying?
You were screaming across the bar "BUYING US SHOTS ISN'T GOING TO MAKE US STRAIGHT, YA KNOW!!!!!!!!"
What happened with the girl wasn't a gay thing. It was just a mutual respect and want for sex. The guys just weren't there.
Call it what you want. You fucked a girl.
He told me we were going to a cabin. It's just logs and a tarp made into walls. This night can go either way at this point.
party devolved into two exes battling with Cal's tiki torches, and the lawn being set on fire kinda sorta and then we all hula'ed... hulaed?
At this point it's more of an experiment to see how much actual bush growth is possible. See, being single can be both educational and surprisingly comfy!
I woke up just like any other Wednesday. Naked on the floor, hungover and covered head to toe in lube
the cops drove by and you were on your back in the middle of the side walk with your arms and legs in the air yelling that you were a dead bug .
There is no way entering a gas station bathroom memorializing an alien abduction in rural New Hampshire is a good idea.
Randomize
