If that was your dad, he is hot
Bro, I met the coolest hottest chick tonight and she has the hottest friends.
Where are you?
Strip Club
he was so hot that i framed the used condom. it's not trash, it's art.
Things he has used as lube on me: olive oil, cologne, purell, spit, tanning oil, and bottled hotel lotion
He needs to save up for some actual ky before my vagina gets an allergic reaction
it must be christmas time, i've got a hankering to give a virgin a baby....
I made a vision board specifically for the purpose of boning john mayer.
Doctor said I have sports induced asthma.
Call me old fashioned, but around here we call that "out of shape."
When I come over I'm bringing "Socky" the Alcoholism Prevention puppet, today he is going to tell you boys about his FAVORITE word---its called "moderation"
just remembered spooning on the cardboard and confessing to each other we had the spins.
The only thing I remember last night was feeding my dog 4 McDoubles.
what a fun peer-pressure-filled weekend
He was lasting forever and I couldn't take it so I faked an asthma attack
You know you're too high when you find yourself crying at " hand in my pocket" by Alanis Morissette because it's "just TOO REAL"
Last night I was introduced as the Picasso of getting fucked up so I obviously had to live up to it by chugging long islands
the moment when you open a dick pic with your mom in the car... On your moms phone... Of your dad... Scarred for life
Randomize
