Are you kidding me. My sex life has diminshed to having wet dreams about jerking off.
I gave them both handjobs at the same time. Felt like I was skiing
Im forcing mysellf to pee so i can fit more margaritas in me...
He made me stop in the middle of giving him a blowjob so he could go get his glasses. because he "wanted to see". I need to stop dating nerds.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we found you standing over and eating out of my neighbor's garbage can
there is no 'pace myself' on the blackout express
I thought he was joking about the hundred beer challenge until two guys showed up with a camera and boom mic. This cabin party is going to be fucked
There's a creepy homeless guy with no hand trying to get up on our tacobell order
Whoever said that remembering a girls name is a basic rule for getting laid has never met me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well I can cross being naked in a minivan off the list
It was big, black, and had a smiley face tattooed on it. It was the perfect penis.
Remember when I made out with that stranger at the bar on my 21 in chicago? I wonder how he's doing
Fuck my life... Im so horny Im gonna take it out on this sandwich
Idk but when you think about it the last time I did bottomless mimosas I ended up getting my nipples pierced so it might be fair
Drunk me is having trouble keeping up with sober me's standards
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