Shitting during a conference call is so empowering.
I really love her but I don't think I can go the rest of my life without anal.
I dont know why I dont listen to you more often. He wont stop texting me. And his signature is "dancing with no panties on"
Im starting to think including a smiley face in texts may or may not be a code for 'lets have sex'
Im going to research this theory. . .
They upped the price of Plan B! Rite-aid is going to be the reason I have illegitimate kids.
Do you ever just think "I could really go for a good 30 minute blowjob". I do. Everytime jill smiles.
hooking up with my manager sounds like an even better idea while i'm sober.
There's some drunk girl alone in the field, she looks like she could use some help.
Also it's only fair that you know that that girl is me.
he payed over $300 just to break into the hotel pool and skinny dip alone for 5 minutes and then peace in a cab. and all he had to say for himself was "gotta go swimming, gotta live life"
where do u find these people!?
There a special place in hell for drunk criers. A special FUCKING PLACE
You got Broadway Drunk, dude. I haven't heard you sing "Music Of The Night" like that since the last time I was holding you up on the way to the subway at two in the morning.
Would you like to get an apartment bong? It can be like our pet and we can give it a name.
All this studying of HIV makes me want to have sex with you.
i just watched a 7 minute video on people making a hot air balloon for their dog and i am a changed person
so i showed up to the bars in a sombrero and a tie as a headband... so yeah, they didn't let me in
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