Do you think Conan would leave his wife for me?
i just remembered that i beat off next to you while we were naked and passed out next to each other after last night... No Homo
Is it weird I want to fuck the cartoon chick from e-surance??
I wish I could tell you that the worst thing that happened last night was how he got thrown out of a stripclub for vomitting on the girl giving him a private lapdance. I wish I could tell you that and not be lying.
Let's just cut to the chase. I'm not interested in anything romantic but I aAM interested in Tom Petty and maybe getting high and fucking you again for old times sake.
she's using the space heater to try to heat up a pop-tart...
are you aware you chucked your pizza at a girl's face after the bar last night?
at what point did you think saran wrap was a better alternative to shoes?
The bar owner gave me permission to push people into the pool. I'm never going to leave Los Angeles
They glued all of the ceiling tiles shut.
oh my god. you caused complete remodeling to a college campus that you don't even go to
Goats are brash and offensive and cocky animals
Are you high and at a petting zoo again?
In the mean time, I'll continue to kick ass at running and become a successful stripper while he might hook up with one average looking girl he met at a club. I so win.
He said my vagina is harder to escape than the Temple of Doom.
We broke the bed while I was handcuffed to the headboard and let's just say that was a hard one to explain to the RA
Can I come over?
Sorry I gave up dick for lent. Hit me up on Good Friday tho
Randomize
