drinking colt 45 because lando calrissian told me to
I just found a porn show called cleavagefield. no i am not watching.
well, if it gives you any insight into how crazy it was, i am currently wikipediaing "anullment"
i don't know how the hand towel got involved, but i peed all over it
Just used my cancer results to get a free lap dance. Great day just got better.
Quite frankly, I consider the fact that I'm NOT pregnant one of my greatest achievements and I'd like to chronicle that ongoing success. I'm going to post pictures of me at "0 weeks" once a week.
walked into class wearing my zorro costume. some girl just said "oh my god, i fucked zorro this weekend." I found her.
Omg. The news was on TV while I was giving him a bj...when the weatherman said its a beautiful start to December, he groaned and said it sure is.
And they have kittens that decided that boobs are apparently the best arena for king of the hill...
in honor of breaking bad starting soon, i am now banging a walter white lookalike. viva heisenberg!
You were hitting on girls while wearing the banana suit. When they rejected you you yelled "I gotta split anyway."
Honestly my life is shambles over a married man who looked like a fuckin NERD ON HIS WEDDING DAY
I cannot pick him out of a line up. I remember he is blonde and his half flaccid dick looks like gonzo. So unless he pulls down his pants I don't know who he is
Well, thanks for not letting me sleep with anyone, but no thanks for telling everyone I have the clap.
Last night’s booty call turned into a cuddlefest. Get your game face on, we’re hunting dick tonight
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