his ringtone is the jonas brothers. get me the fuck out of here NOW.
Sam Adams makes it so easy to keep track of the seasons.
She got all mad because she said it was "unprofessional" to tell my manager to go fist herself.
i lnow ive slrrwsdy teted you this. but goddamn girl on tv is a good song
his extensive knowledge of the age of consent laws kinda scares me....
You expect me to find someone in two days who I feel comfortable enough with to ask them to get drunk and go play in foam with me?
The Angel on my shoulder is now resorting to merely reminding me that, "You will regret this later." I'm not sure if he's learning how I think or just giving up. Either way, should make life a bit more interesting.
He wants to buy me a drink to apologize for sending me a pic of his dick. Welcome to my life.
It may not have seemed like it to you, but I was very sad that I was cheating on my GF with you. I was crying on the INSIDE.
Same I threw up in 3 different cities already today
We smoked weed. AS A FAMILY. IT WAS BEAUTIFUL.
Bro I needs to be rescued in 30 mins...prfeebly someone died in a car accident needs to be the excuse
I called you daddy and let you stick things in my butt, I am a damn 11.
that's what I'm here for. I'm literally just bad advice mixed with motivational sentences.
I kept my extra Molly pill in my wallet in the change part, that's also where I keep my body jewelry while I'm working. The nose ring punctured the pill essentially coating itself in MDMA. My nose ring is back in my nose. This could be entertaining
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