THE most awkward situation I have EVER been in
Also, I just threw up a little in my mouth and had to act like everything was totally fine.
Glitter + Penis = Best. Idea. Ever.
I told him that he is like a snow storm I never know when he is coming, how many inches I will get, or how long it will last
just woke up with a thong on my face, dont remember going home with anyone and its way too big for it to be a good thing
These 25 Teachers Said Horrible Things to Their Students
I have "you made mistakes last night" written alllll over me.
He told me to pretend to be a shark, and he would slay me with his harpoon cock.
he called me from germany to tell me about all the gummy bears he bought...i'm doubting his sobriety
i pretended i was deaf and got a girl to come home with me
If I believed in "responsibility" and "having limits", I would probably say I consumed too much alcohol in the last 48 hours
21 Millennials Confess The Most Awkward Way Someone Has Tried Hitting On Them
God loves me. So high, craving Jimmy Johns chips, looked down, unopened bag in front of me. Still doesn't feel real
I'm sitting in my 10 am lecture drinking a flask out of a dorritos bag...I think people are starting to notice but I'm already too drunk to care
So that groomsmen was naked under his kilt. Also I just had sex in the elevator. And yes, those two updates are definitely related.
and here comes the time of my day when I haw to convince a guy to drive my cape and my handle to my dorm.
I`m watching Shallow Hal & Jack Black has better nipples than Jimmy's chick.
Pretty sure we had a civil war reenactment in your kitchen at 4am.
That would explain the cannon.