no, he's only a walking dick if he mans up. right about now he's just a walking transgender.
Gay walks of shame are so much more Amy Winehouse than straight girls
I told you not to have sex with her on my futon
I didnt dude, i swear!
either that or you were eating mayo, which was the second thing i told you not to do on my futon
I just woke up in a puddle of boob sweat. Definitely time to consider a reduction.
These 25 Drunks Should’ve Gotten Cut Off A Long Time Ago
I made the bartender pinky promise me there was still vodka in my drinks.
Also you were throwing your phone yelling this is durable as shit
they esentially rejected my mermaid threesome offer:(
I'm mentally preparing my vagina for this semester. It's fucking welcome week. I'm going to be talking to her all night.
he's singing something in russian and knocking over my plants with his dick, get his drunk ass out of my apartment
HE STUCK IT IN THE FISHBOWL WTF
27 Freshmen Who Really Didn’t Know What They Were Getting In To
He gave me twenty cool ranch tacos and declared, drunk, " Look, I do good"
I'm in too deep with Breaking Bad. I realized I've altered my Tinder likes to people that either look like Jesse or work in a school's Science department.
i wore a power symbol belly button ring just so i can drunkenly tell him that he turns me on. i dont care if it works i think its classy
How will you ever teach your dogs to pee outside when the biggest puddle on your bedroom carpet is from you?
i got home safe but then alex started a fire so now we're at the hospital
I'm determined to sit on that face.