You can't motorboat a personality
Bring booze and chicks. Separate, or one already in the other. Your call.
you're the one who masterbates every night to the titanic soundtrack
the girl I was having sex with just mumbled victory for msu during sex. i love basketball season
The coffee and champagne are fighting over who gets to absorb the one pancake in my stomach
She gave me a blow job and her mom gave me blueberry muffin afterwards. I love them.
It hit me after I slept with his best friends and brother, that maybe I took it a bit far
Just because you were able to pour the entire bottle of wine into 2 glasses does not mean you took it easy last night.
i woke up with my wallet keys and phone missing and a treasure map to find them stapled to my shirt.
haha i know
I got used. This is the happiest day of my life. I was just a huge cock and that is all she needed.
I just realized my life is a timeline of drunken injuries.
It was an 11am booty call. We were both out of our element.
Sometime between a drunk guy asking me if I'm a Beach person or a lake person WHILE HIS HAND WAS IN HIS FUCKING PANTS or breaking up a lady fight over peewee football league I started to reevaluate my life and self
This is what we get for YOLOing our way to obesity
Then you shook your fists at the sky and explained to us that losing a sneeze is like losing an orgasm