we better have passed that bar exam - i dont want to have to drink like this again
at first I thought it was funny, but looking at it now, it screams "dramatic" and "medicated wipes."
I remember seeing LSAT prep books and thinking "Whose room is this? I should be hooking up with them instead."
You only ask me to come over when your gf is gone, and thats usually at midnight to cook chicken salad and watch you pass out
Somehow I magically turned down a threesome last night. On my birthday. You're a horrible wingman.
How could I forget your birthday? I have an alarm in my phone to ask you for sex that day.
time out. can we just pause the wholesome understanding friendship thing and be fuck buddies for a night?
we need a secret handshake
You forget how awesome toilet paper is until you have to wipe your ass with a piece of notebook paper...
For context, I was hiding under the pong table mooing at everyone by that point.
Apparently mr clean magic erasers don't clean blood off the ceiling
ok so i got home drunk and was cleaning my kitchen and i was shaking out the throw rug and dropped it out the window, i'm sorry
He signed my ass with a Waffle House pen.
Please note that in response to your post about your dog's jaws clamped hard around a stick, I did not comment, "Takes after his dad." You're welcome.
the wedding party just walked in to the song eye of the tiger. i'm getting drunk.
Thank you for dog sitting, there is $60 on my desk to be spent on DRUGS AND/OR GAS ONLY not that food stuff people crave.
Randomize
