Ur dog is a babe magnet. Reminds me of me
Don't use my boy Weezy to support your whoreish tendencies.
I will show your tits more attention than Michael Jackson's death.
Im going to buy a thermometer. If its above 104 im going to the hospital if its under 104 im going to the bar
WHY AM I ALWAYS DEFEATED BY THE LATIN COCK?!?!
I dont care how drunk you were. Making a bet with MY husband at MY wedding that you could seal the deal before he could is ALWAYS inappropriate!
Dude you were sitting in front of me eating uncooked bow tie pasta...
She just got on the scale. frowned, got off and took off her pants and then got back on
Ok well i was gonna say you can only borrow my fog machine if you will use it to emerge from your room in a cloud of smoke after having sex with sarah, so yeah we're good
I'm gone to the point of literally hugging trees, partially for support, but also because I like them.
I am having telepathic thoughts with my cat. He loves me and wants me to blow his nose
Still, being medically ordered to stuff things in your vagina is amazing.
I'm going to tell you a beautiful word.
Fellatio.
It was probably the night you were half naked and trying to blow everybody, guy or girl.
this is me we're talking about here. You're going to have to be more specific than that.
my friends roomated asked me this morning if we went to mcdonalds last night and i had no idea...that is until i checked my purse and found half a mcdouble in it...
Randomize
