your dick doesn't do me any good in arizona
I just had the fat girl at the party come tell me I look sad and offer me a beer. I'm out.
i just remember sitting on this bed, naked, STILL WITH A CONDOM ON, and suddenly these random girls were in the room shouting at me
I have had more skin than food in my mouth the last three days
Idk. I'm naked in front of the computer eating ribs. All is right with the world.
That's so nerdy and hot at the same time.
Seriously. Come back. I've had two beers for breakfast so far. The third will be for lunch since it's already 12.
I made friends with the delivery guy because he had beautiful dread locks and was a Zelda fan. He texted me after he left saying he wasn't trying to be creepy but we should be friends. We're hanging out tomorrow.
How does this kind of shit happen to you?!
Also I like this area. Lots of places for me to get tacos.
Literally just had a girl put her street name into my phone. Yeah.
That was the second worst thing to happen to my asshole.
Why let a Christmas Eve hangover ruin a perfectly good Christmas Day acid trip?
CAPS.LOCK.AND.SPACEBAR.ARE.BROKEN.
why do guys have to express their feelings when they know your seeing someone else ? I fucked him anyways to make him feel better , and to know what he's missing.
The only thing I want for my birthday is a divorce from you.
I’m planning a Pharmasutra for the first night after the pandemic ends
Pharmasutra?
Me + Chris + cocktails + viagra = night of orgasms
Randomize
