If I go to jail what happens to my debt?
You dont have to pay it.
I'm going to jail.
Dude I'm so glad we're not friends anymore. It would have made fucking your stepmom last night really awkward. Dickwad.
I'm sorry for coming into your work place and trying to smuggle you out in my purse.
This isnt meant to be as creepy as it sounds, but do you seriously want a lock of the hair I cut off?
So if a 2 is a 10 on the road... do we consider college to be "on the road?" help. its urgent.
I mean, I thought you would respect me for turning your life around for the better. It seems just yesterday that I found you in a ditch with a cock in your mouth.
I wish dancing around my house in my bra and underwear to Love Shack whilst eating strawberry cake batter was an acceptable form of exercise.
I opened my door to find him standing there with vodka, McDonalds, a smile and a hard-on. Of course I let him in.
Sweet. Warning: i have been drinking at work since 4. Plan accordingly.
She was bending and I said "finally, about time". Wrong, she was tying her shoe. No blowjobs for me.
just remember the most important rule of taking psychedelics: monsters can't get through blankets
You gave him that scrunchie you made and called it your "sex offering".
250 people in this lecture & my prof asks who already drank green beer this morning& is drunk right now. I WAS THE ONLY ONE TO RAISE MY HAND
She's trying to change her flight... IM BEING COCKBLOCKED BY DELTA CUSTOMER SERVICE
He's mad at me because I said I wouldn't date him if his dick was smaller. I fail to see the issue
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