I am so gay it hurts my loins. Going to see She's Just Not That Into You... again. Ohhh my goodness.
Billy Mays is dead too!
Somewhat annoying American icons better be watching their backs
I would like to remind you that Mike's hard lemonade only goes good with an extra light cigarette and seminal fluid.
We have to talk through the words with friends chat so his gf won't find out
this is your 3rd pregnancy scare in 2 years, I think its time for you to re-evaluate the whole 'im a lesbian' thing
I'll wind up on his doorstep with a confused "oh you live here" expression, a feigned ankle injury and a seemingly fortunately placed bottle of tequila. I don't care what it takes: HIS MOUTH WILL BE ON MOUTH.
I can honestly say I've never had orange soda poured on my vagina before, that's a story for the grand kids
she tried to douche with champagne. in front of all of us. unabashedly.
She said " I'm going to get her back one day soon for putting extacy in my pop while I drove her to whislter" just a heads up.
Well I can cross being naked in a minivan off the list
There may or may not be an ass shaped dent in the hood of my car. All I know is windshield wipers aren't as sturdy as you think to hold onto.
No,she came up with a new game: "Where is the most interesting place I can show Drew my asshole?"
The difference between 22 and 28 is bigger than I realised. I had the urge to put on Spongebob and give him a cookie.
Seeing my ex post concert Snapchat videos as an Instagram really reinforces that I made the right choice...
It's official, I'm not staying in tonight
What caused that decision?
You only live once
Randomize
