I just left during the middle of Chemistry to go throw up in the bathroom....and you laughed at my travel toothbrush.
Yeah well I just ate cereal out of a muffin pan with a fork. I'll flip a coin as to who has to tackle that pile of dishes we've neglected for 3 weeks.
small problem..I have a major exam in the morning so I might have to go to the library after the party
so no drinking for you?
don't be silly
she was handing out condoms w/ her number on them...
The woman at the nail salon waxing my lip just showed me the strip with all the hair on it while smirking. Apparenltly 'you have a stache' can be communicated through a language barrier.
Find out what day classes start and I will come down to Richmond that weekend. Any broad who claims to be 18-21 will be promptly ID'd. My job has trained me to spot a fake from a mile away, and I don't need a statutory rape charge.
Here's the thing, you got road head in two different cars tonight. You feel lucky yet?
No but I was fuckin done when I realized my acrylic nail caught fire when I was hitting the bong.
We were so sore from having sex that we decided to fix it with more sex. It's the hair of the dog for sex hangover.
Someone broke into my car last night. Didn't take anything, even left the beer in my backseat. They need to get their priorities straight, obviously.
Have you heard yourself have sex?
I'm not THAT loud...
My neighbors filed a noise complaint.
It just makes sense. It's like I end a relationship, and wash myself of sin... with tequila.
I woke up naked and alone this morning. What a life
there's no judgement here...i was recently just fingered in my dorm hallway while having a conversation with 5 people.
you fell asleep with her panties on your face. how are you surprised??
Randomize
