My penis is the apex of life and all other references. Lookin for a cheap vagina at this point. And cheap Korean BBQ
All I want to do right now is burp, puke, and fart. In that order.
I HATE DRINKING WITH JUST GIRLS, ITS 1030 THEYRE ALL HAMMERED AND TALKING ABOUT HOW AWESOME THEIR SHOES ARE!!!!!!!
Oh btw, my mom called... you made the police blotter in the newspaper. Don't worry, she's mailng me a copy so I can put in on the fridge.
He panicked, you ducked and I was coming off a 3 day coke binge. It was no one's shining moment.
Best dream ever last night. You moved here. Your Spanish name meant highway. Your favorite food was styrofoam.
She called me her guardian angel after I picked her phone up from the river of pee coming from her front porch.
You slammed your face into the toilet and declared you were moving your bed into the bathroom in the morning. Also, you insisted on crawling everywhere because feet are "overrated."
I don't wanna be gay for a night.
I think it would be worth it for free alcohol.
Hi I am too sober and out of rum. Translation: I owe you some beer. Also, get better taste in beer.
I want you to get off the plane and get directly into my pants
whenever i get involved w someone i'm gonna give you their number to testify to the fact that they should not fall in love with me
I offer naked tickle fights and orgasms and you call it trouble. I call that Christmas.
EMERGENCY SUBJECT CHANGE. SHE DOESN'T KNOW.
high I am. I am yoda. Yoda I am
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