Damn. That makes sense
I know im like the sherlok holmes of sexual problems
How come it tastes like onions whenever I go down on her?
Pooping in your heated bathroom to the sound of rain and instrumental guitar might be the greatest experience ever.
Well that wasnt the exboyfriend i expected to hook up with today
idk if you're aware of this...but we could potentially have the greatest hate sex...ever.
I officially lit my glove on fire while lighting the bong. Winter needs to end.
Doing lines and watching a show on hot dogs around the world ... Why do I do this to myself
Just woke up to find myself in a random bed with two people next to me having sex. I thought it would be awkward to just suddenly get up so i think I'm gonna lie here and pretend I'm still sleeping.
spending my first valentines day single in 3 years blazed and eating heart shaped brownies i bought myself. WHO NEEDS A MAN.
Well, I have a text in my phone that just says "Scrumtrelescent" from a girl I have in here as "Cheesy Tits", so you figure out how my night was going.
I mean, I would have, but I couldn't come up with a logical reason to bring up oral sex during an orientation.
On the flip side, we did almost have sex wearing a gorilla mask and deer antlers.............
I've got a bottle of water, a bag of salad greens, and a bottle of hot sauce. How stoned do you think I am?
Haha! I swear, it's like I'm talking to Buddha with a slutty agenda. You are so full of wisdom.
RESIST THE DICK
thats like telling me to resist drinking water. impossible.
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