first i yelled "you cant get it up?" and then in the middle of it i opened a Corona
I found out why we traded puke covered dresses in the bathroom.
I mean if she was naked in my room I would talk to her
How the hell did he get a boner in that type of situation?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Found our threesome girl. She says I'm pretty. She doesn't know I'm pregnant. Yet. Think we can pull it off?
I seriously think the toilet is the cleanest thing in their house. At least if I have to worry its not about that.
You went streaking and came back with your shirt inside out. Then said "it happens in the line of duty" and passed out.
Will you be my therapist? I don't want to tell me secrets to a strange person and be judged all over again when you have already taken the time to do it. Oh and I will pay you with alcohol
If a raisin and a desert had a bastard child that would be the inside of my mouth right now
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
so at 3am I stumbled into my parents house and crawled into bed with them, I need to start dating.
Those nachos came to me in a dream
We are literally scheduling phone sex... if that's not long distance af then i don't know what is
If dispatch calls for us tell them I'm having a significant emotional event in the restroom
on the bright side i found your panties and the lid to the nutella
Best and worst whiskey dick ever. I am hungover and can't move from the hours of sex, he on the other hand has a raw bruised dick. I win.
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