Do you think they could tell I was high on that conf call?
I think we should go ahead and pin a note to my shirt when we go out that says"do NOT buy me shots"
On the back we can put possible side effects may include: indiscriminate making out, brief crying spells, yelling in jibberish, and sudden sleep.
I don't make the first move. Ever. Unless were playing monopoly cause that's my shit
My flask crushed my baggie full of aderall in my backpack, why can't my demons just live together in peace
I just puked in my fish tank. Helloooooo summer.
is it sad that i can describe this night as "the night that i was sober" and we all know which night it was. like literally one night of sobriety.
the world took limewire and four lokos away from me in one week....hello depression
The fact that when I blacked in you were sober enough to kick me out of your roommates bed makes me question our friendship.
Dude. I have so much pot that i only worry about running out of lighters
he fucked me wearing a cowboy hat and made grits after
We call him Texas for a reason.
It makes me feel all patriotic & free... And borderline diabetic.
all i want in life is a shot and a cock is that too much to ask
Btw. I have a sinus infection from doing cocaine in a portapotty at a Duran Duran concert. So, gimme a couple of days before y'all start the party.
I'm kind of pissed I'm not hungover, that means I could have totally drank more last night.
Also either i just launched into space as a rocket or my legs just orgasmed, but i am high as a soul train
Randomize
