I cant wait to get the disapproving look from this elderly black lady...
he told us the story of how he fought ketchup, mustard, and thomas the train engine all in one night. if that doesn't sound like an acid trip i dont know what does.
Where does it all go? I've busted inside of you like 10 times in the last week.
He sat there and debated the pros and cons of hooking up with me
Need a travel agent to tell me which countries in Asia have legalized prostitution for New Year. Fireworks would be cool too.
blah blah blah they called me an alcoholic because I threw my beer at a Jesus freak. it was for the best
Girl your like that last load of laundry... I'll do you eventually just not tonight.
It hurts to peel the glue off my chest and i keep finding glitter in my hair.
I just wanted to decorate you...
Dude I woke up and he was pissing in the corner on his clothes... I called his name an he replied " I got this" and continued.
When we were all out of beer you took a bite out of the cardboard beer box and said "close enough."
We do have a rich storied history of emotional warfare
To the woman who just heard me unscrew my flask in the Denny's women's bathroom at 10am: discretion isn't required but greatly appreciated.
Did you at least share?
Did you at least know who's jizz it was?
That is questionable.
you were shouting "me peeing on him is the closest he'll EVER get to my vagina!"
What are you feeling right now?
Idk. I just flashed a porch 🤷🏼♀️
So not in the best place to do an emotional inventory
Randomize
