At a stoplight watching a woman push groceries in a stroller while dodging oncoming traffic... Reallllly Detroit?
I really like him. That's why I'm having sex with someone else, so he doesnt think i'm a slut.
I knew I had to get an abortion when his toddler sister came up to hug my leg and I kicked her off saying, "Get off, fucker."
cruising supermarkets, asking random people where i can get weed. fuck alaska
It's Monday. What a great day to start the weekend on the week of st. Patricks day
So my professor just changed my Final to 7:45am on May 6th. Shouldn't a Spanish professor understand the implications of Cinco de Mayo???
who do i root for if I want Christiano Ronaldo to win the world cup on a team by himself and then bang chicks on the pitch?
I left two hundred in singles in your car sorry about the mess
We fucked in my basement while hiding from the cops.. And now his Facebook picture is him and others holding up there MIP's in front of my house.. I feel obligated to add him as a friend.
unfortunetly they frown upon drunk on duty paramedics
I would not be 19 again if you paid me. Guess who found naked pictures of themselves? Fuck cocaine
I moved my bed to the living room so when a girl walks in she has to decide right away if shes in or out
So we came to a decision, you need to fuck your hot roommate and send us pictures. We voted, so don't hate the democracy this great country stands for
Lesson learned:nothing good comes from an at home wax kit.
I can't wait to get home and drunk cuddle your dog
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