Why do all fat girls have "that smell"?
im doing shots everytime lil jon says it in the song shots....blackout town here i come
I'm bringing poparts in case anyone gets hungry. The trek to frat row is strenuous.
How the hell can the Olympic committee frown so much on weed and yet put on a show you would have to be high to actually enjoy?
Can we please not be like these pathetic people in their thirties who only get drunk when they go see Sherrill Crow?
the only evidence i have from this weekend existing is a title page for a novel i tried writing called "the oyster who gave up drinking"
She just drank the vanilla extract. Again. AGAIN. No one should be that eager to get drunk.
Hungover snowboarding. Puked off the lift and traumatized a group lesson for kids. Crash course on adulthood.
Handicvap rails on the toilet atre soooooo fuckin handy right nmow.
I need to pull it together. I just cried my eyes out to Master Chef Junior.
How I know we're old. Don knows the owner. The owner said 'How about some shots?' We said no thanks. He looked puzzled and came back later and said 'You know it's on the house?' We said 'Yeah, no thanks.'
You ran out of his house yelling "I got the goods!" Then you pulled toilet paper rolls out from under your shirt.
The important thing is that she is gone, presumably back to the depths of hell from whence she came.
Yesterday I went home with one shoe, today I go home with three. Fucking win.
If I have put a neon “vacancy” sign on my skirt for him to get the picture I will.
Randomize
