She seriously needs to find another hobby other than bouncing on cock.
I hate to tell you this, but your sister reeks of whore.
was it morally wrong to have used his girlfriends makeup after i fucked him?
If I ever write a book, i'm calling it "why do i work with fucktards?"
It'll be a good sequel to my other book, "why do i sleep with fucktards?"
He stole a bottle of grenadine from the bar. And got arrested. His new cell mate is going to love his bright red lips.
He played pinball with my ovaries. He won.
Im glad the only reason we got out of bed today was to get Halloween candy on sale.
it says 'tasty bitch' in sharpie on my tits...
So we stayed at his mom's and all got drunk and he and I hooked up in his old bedroom. Then his drunk mom came in and tackled us when we were still naked. Why does this keep happening to me?
Meet at Walmart straight from work to buy items for hurricane fun. Then blast some wine, make some sex, blast a bowl and cuddle each other till the sun comes up?
That's the most romantic New Orleans hurrication I've ever heard of. Can I have your babies?
i don't think i have enough personality to make it through this date sober.
All my female reproductive organs were screaming HELL YES last night.
YOUUUU FUCKING FURRYYYY
I DIDN'T COME HERE TO BE SLANDERED LIKE THIS
I think you'll appreciate my way of waking up today: Under my cubicle, boxed in by boxes of printer paper, and hung over. I don't even know how the fuck I got in here in the middle of the night. I went to my car and fell back asleep. I'm now 2 1/2 hours late.
I swear I only fuck him for the huge bottle of smart water he gives me afterwards.
Randomize
