I have to get up uber early tomorrow. Which is why I started drinking early today
you ended the night by relentlessly sucking on my hips bone and hand demanding milk. you said it was because you were a tiger
i just shit an entire soup salad and breadsticks from the olive garden... bud light wins again.
feel weird hangin out with you now that i've eaten your sister out
Standing here next to my mom talking to my friend trying to act like he doesn't sell me E every weekend.
hot pretzels for dinner, snacks, and now breakfast...oh to be a poor college student...everyday is like a carnival.
The musician playing at the bar just puked inside his acoustic guitar, then sang an encore performance. I love Louisa!!!!
I feel like I would bang a guy with a dick piercing just to say I have...like climbing a huge mountain or somethig
Heated debate on which is worse. Pissing your pants or puking all over yourself
I vagually remember taking your birthcontrol and washing it down with ash water
It's like some sort of initiation to finger one of them... so I did it. And got high fived afterwards like a dozen times.
Those were right hand only?
Listen here, Ms. "I'm Gonna Get Super Drunk and Run From My Friends Screaming That They Were Going to Drag Her to a Scientology Recruitment Camp"...
Look, all I'm looking for is a good time and someone whose chest I can bury my face in
sitting in the prison waiting room in my boyfriends clothes. looooong story.
im looking at the positives. number one it stopped me from hooking up with vince infront of his girl, number two it gave me something to do instead of throwing up and number three i fuckin rocked his world
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