nut hugger
okay, this is the fifth time he asked if it was in yet. maybe i shouldn't have dated a blind guy.
I woke up with ten beers in my bag that hoarded at the party last night. Rally? Its five somewhere.
look out your window.... he's holding his iphone up like a boombox playing you beach boys
can you call in chlamydia to work? like if the antibiotics they gave you for it are giving you the shits...
You better drive. If I decide to let them talk me into a 3-way, I don't want you to be stranded.
There are so many things that would come back to haunt me if I ran for President someday.
like that video of you mad stoned vomiting in the bdubs parking lot after going to a pizza buffet screaming how you needed to make room for froyo
Wat
I played "in the air tonight" on a drum set made of titties, and I'm not even exaggerating
She shoved a hot dog in my pocket and started grinding on it.
I'm pretty sure that I drunkenly used the phrase "I just want his beard all over my body" way too many times last night.
Dude she smelled like bar-b-que sauce. I can't think of anything better.
I can't hang out with this penis. I'll start thinking I like the person it belongs to.
Trump won PA by a fucking landslide. If only Cruz hadn't eaten that booger.
Cover your peen. We're going out.
Good news! Blood’s flowing!
Randomize
