So I fucked an Aussie broad with huge feeders last nite 2x... Before banging her she was blowin me & I thought: "SHE IS GOIN DOWN-UNDER ON ME". Laughed out loud
I woke up this morning with "guy in polar bear j.crew boxers" written on my stomach along with a 5 digit phone number...
I can't even teach it... It's just natural slutyness.. My mom has it too
Alright, so what's my next move? I already posted a Milli Vanilli video on her wall
Just know I'm having fun but I still have my motor functions.
Yes. Amanda is the only option and I want cake so I can sacrifice my vagina.
No shame December is a go.
My car windows are covered in lube. Happy 4th of July!
we managed to melt a few different forms of plastic into the cannibutter....
I'm supposed to nail the old lady at 1:30 so I'll see you at 1:35ish.
Just watched a girl lose her dignity at the corner...it's not even midnight
Dude just walked up to me, gave me his number and said, if this number ever calls its my penis,better keep that one handy. I cant lie its the best pick up line ever, im calling his penis.
Drunk within and hour of coming home from work, merry christmas bitch
Through a complicated series of events, I wound up in the desert with a blue chick from comic-con. we lost peter. if you're alive, please come get us.
anything below 65° is too cold to be naked on a roof
My face is going numb. I think it's time I call it quits
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