Texts From Last Night

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  (310): View more from California

  first i yelled "you cant get it up?" and then in the middle of it i opened a Corona

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  (310): first i yelled "you cant get it up?" and then in the middle of it i opened a Corona http://tfl.nu/f4h4
  Replies (16) Good night (819) Bad night (2122)
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  (714): View more from California

  He said i was a degenerate twofaced catholic slut and a grade a bitch. Quite complimentary really. i guess i shouldn't insult the red wings

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  (714): He said i was a degenerate twofaced catholic slut and a grade a bitch. Quite complimentary really. i guess i shouldn't insult the red wings http://tfl.nu/vyv5
  Replies (63) Good night (2550) Bad night (663)
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  (710): View more from

  Why do my orgasm prompt her to begin using babytalk EVERYTIME?!

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  (710): Why do my orgasm prompt her to begin using babytalk EVERYTIME?! http://tfl.nu/2llb
  Replies (12) Good night (567) Bad night (4495)
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  (781): View more from Massachusetts

  i'm surrounded by gay midgets. not sure if i'm bragging or asking you to come rescue me. wait for follow up.

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  (781): i'm surrounded by gay midgets. not sure if i'm bragging or asking you to come rescue me. wait for follow up. http://tfl.nu/navv
  Replies (12) Good night (4696) Bad night (726)
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  (661): View more from California

  is it weird that i feel like i won the break up because my status change got two comments and his got zero?

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  (661): is it weird that i feel like i won the break up because my status change got two comments and his got zero? http://tfl.nu/iroh
  Replies (31) Good night (6116) Bad night (1026)
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  (661): View more from California

  the girl i fucked last night woke up this morning, disoriented and looked at me, and said "oh, you're hot." and went back to sleep.

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  (661): the girl i fucked last night woke up this morning, disoriented and looked at me, and said "oh, you're hot." and went back to sleep. http://tfl.nu/zfm0
  Replies (74) Good night (40877) Bad night (1249)
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  (803): View more from South Carolina

  I just sneezed and had an orgasam..THAT turned on

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  (803): I just sneezed and had an orgasam..THAT turned on http://tfl.nu/5tgi
  Replies (43) Good night (9571) Bad night (1003)
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  (203): View more from Connecticut

  Fact: my bamboo plant has grown 2 & 1/2 inches since I started watering it with bong water

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  (203): Fact: my bamboo plant has grown 2 & 1/2 inches since I started watering it with bong water http://tfl.nu/s84f
  Replies (24) Good night (6833) Bad night (943)
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  (210): View more from Texas

  Just made hot dog dorito pasta. It happened.

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  (210): Just made hot dog dorito pasta. It happened. http://tfl.nu/7jhi
  Replies (14) Good night (3278) Bad night (1669)
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  (330): View more from Ohio

  I'm the only adult here not drinking and their 2 year old daughter is trying to play dolls with me.. I've never been so demoralized in my life.

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  (330): I'm the only adult here not drinking and their 2 year old daughter is trying to play dolls with me.. I've never been so demoralized in my life. http://tfl.nu/ydnu
  Replies (5) Good night (900) Bad night (3456)
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  (859): View more from Kentucky

  Bering your kids um. Abiout tol. Throw up

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  (859): Bering your kids um. Abiout tol. Throw up http://tfl.nu/e5lq
  Replies (10) Good night (692) Bad night (1654)
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  (613): View more from Ontario

  just used my sex toy cleaning solution to clean my reading glasses. midterms are cramping my styleeee

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  (613): just used my sex toy cleaning solution to clean my reading glasses. midterms are cramping my styleeee http://tfl.nu/8pkh
  Replies (20) Good night (1790) Bad night (823)
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  (724): View more from Pennsylvania

  I can affiliate each flavor of Copenhagen to a different one night stand. I really love Texas.

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  (724): I can affiliate each flavor of Copenhagen to a different one night stand. I really love Texas. http://tfl.nu/a06u
  Replies (8) Good night (700) Bad night (751)
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  (928): View more from Arizona

  Just trying to get my dicks in a row.

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  (928): Just trying to get my dicks in a row. http://tfl.nu/3g9d
  Replies (2) Good night (697) Bad night (231)
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  (775): View more from Nevada

  He reached a whole new level of creepy. We were getting a coffee and he noticed the girl at Starbucks name tag looked her up on fb and friend requested her right there without ever introducing himself

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  (775): He reached a whole new level of creepy. We were getting a coffee and he noticed the girl at Starbucks name tag looked her up on fb and friend requested her right there without ever introducing himself http://tfl.nu/55fu
  Replies (3) Good night (142) Bad night (588)

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