I want a vodka facial right about now. I'm talking about straight vodka bukkake
it's great music for shaving your balls
Look, if he's not the brother with three nipples, I'm just not interested.
I cant tell which is worse. That its only my third time doing laundry this year or that its the first time ive done it sober.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he slipped a picture of a kangaroo under my door that said "im sorry" on the back and passed out on my lawn.. who the fuck is this kid?
I tackled a mailbox like a linebacker. He almost broke his hip and his friend lit a bottle rocket off inside of the car. Yes it was a successful night.
I was wondering, is there any way to hook up a lawn hose to a keg?
We had sex during an intermission, then the second period. The bruins better win. Missing a period isn't worth having sex with him
You used his ass cheeks to demonstrate how to play the bongos and he still called you the next day. That's true love.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well, at least you look pretty when you're disgusted
I’m a go ahead and fuck down ATL. So when I leave in January I’ll have no regrets.
I fucked his roommate. And that roommate's best friend. And my roommate. And my roommate's old roommate.
i'm bowing down, but slow your roll.
Accidentally made a bowl of macaroni and cheese with a bottle of vodka. It's not that bad
I had more orgasms than hours of sleep this weekend. I’m going to keep him around a while
I’m done with him. I’m going to the beach to catch a fresh dick
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