okay so using the row boat as a giant snow sled probably wasn't the best idea.
Drunk roommate walked in on us and asked if we wanted to go eat a sandwich with her in the bathroom.
is election day enough of a holiday to justify getting fucked up on a tuesday?
They let me out of the holding cell just in time for me to get the morning-after-pill. Rock bottom feels even worse with all those hormones.
You could say the cab driver was less than excited when we called his personal cell phone at 4am for directions back to our hotel after having blacked out at the club
just had to sit in the middle of an aisle in stop and shop because we're too hungover and needed to take a break.
It was pretty bad. Like cum-on-my-face-while-singing-Let-It-Snow bad.
I am in his childhood bedroom and I feel like his trophies are applauding me and his stuffed bunny is disgusted with me. Did you know he was a mathlete?
i made this one couple from ohio so uncomfortable that they left....and that was WHEN I HAD PANTS ON
Every now and then I'll meet one who is talented in the art of shower gymnast.
Is it weird that I noticed my lower half feels strange and then further realized it's bc I'm wearing underwear to bed for the first time in weeks..maybe months?
Does the term "on fleek" apply to dicks or just eyebrows?
Dad is wasting no time getting back out there. Just walked in on him and a Twin Peaks waitress in the hot tub
I just don't understand what you plan on accomplishing there except for losing all vestiges of post-freshman year dignity
You fucked him, didn’t you?
He showed up at my house with tacos, rum and a negative Covid test. Of course I fucked him. I’m just a simple girl that likes tacos, not Margaret Thatcher!
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