i refuse to live in a world where loud threesomes in your own apartment are referred to as "rude"
did you yell "are you not entertained?"
I had to throw up. it was the only way to avoid kissing her after she swallowed..
i jus dunped the rest of my drink down the sink and tool my bra off. pretty sure this is the best decision for everybody.
let's get a trip to cabo together for next spring... they have to have forgotten about me by now
He has in a pan: ten pieces of bacon, two cloves of garlic, an egg (not scrambled or hard boiled, just an egg) and frozen corn.
If I get laid, we are framing that mattress and hanging it on the wall as the place we both lost our virginities.
I dont even care how hung over I am, and how shitty this bus ride will be. That was the best sex of my life and it's a beautiful morning.
Yes but that point is quickly negated bc u should never have to search more than one room to find your underwear.
Also, what is a socially acceptable way to introduce a crossbow in public?
My mom asked me if I ever go on dates. I had to suppress the urge to ask if having casual sex with a freshmen counts as dating
Did I run away from you last night?
Yeah it was a great moment for our friendship
I'm a bit offended I got no nudies back but it's whatever
They're in the mail. Snapchats too fast. I want the suspense.
Sending dick pics while driving a car going 80 in the rain at night to a married woman? Why hello 2014
Didn't think the day of being the oldest in a club would be when I'm twenty one. Even the bouncer looked surprised when he ID me.
you know that australian accents are like the bat signal to my vagina
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