my drunk step mom just informed me my dad likes reverse cowgirl. Please god kill me.
dude, showing up drunk to physics was the best idea ever. I just tripled my participation for the semester. I love st pattys day
Her dress is practically falling off. It must know I'm here.
i just packed a bowl on a big bird place mat and smoked it in a spaceship with a slide. i love babysitting.
There was just way too much discussion about my penis at that party
My booty call just put me down for a reference for her job at the hospital. What am I supposed to say? She gives great bj's?
when I came to get Jamie there was a cop standing outside with her, made me roll down my window to tell me "she's got to go cause she won't keep her shirt buttoned"
Never have i felt more judged than when i was throwing up in front of a hello kitty shower curtain at 5 in the morn
I woke up with my wool blanket soaking wet on the dorm room floor, and my sweatshirt hanging on the shower door down the hall. So basically my camp-out-in-the-bathroom idea didn't turn out as planned
The sex is great, I just think it'd be better if we listened to Deftones during it.
I think putting on real pants was half my issue with today
I know you're having some issues right now but can we focus on the gangbang?
Your Vodka Saturday privileges have been reduced to Beer until you go a full month without losing an article of clothing.
I think I just read the whole internet. Front to back.
Even in drag you're still better looking than your sister.
Randomize
