Our relationship is like that beach boys song "help me Rhonda" and I'm fucking Rhonda. And Rhondas's the whore in case you've never heard it.
i have a real life question, do ur boyfriends pretend to be vampires ever?
...Then she just started hitting me with a loaf of bread.
Wasted on the beach. There's children everywhere. A six year old girl even stood over me with her hands on her waist looking down on me as I was passing out by the water
they night at the roxbarryed us. came out of nowhere,bought us shots, and then the big one licked my hand? we got out of that noise.
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO LOOK FUCKABLE IN AN ALL NEON SPANDEX JUMPSUIT?
I'm starting to second guess shaving my vagina over the kitchen sink. The lighting is so much better though.
Woke up next to a tiki torch spooning a plastic flamingo on a welcome mat i've never seen before with a "happy valentines day" balloon tied to my wrist, oh yeah and "i am a cougar" is written on my chest in sharpee and all the kitchen furniture is upside down...
That gas station is used for only two things, picking up moonshine and getting murdered. Only two outcomes.
One small step for man, one big gay fierce leap for gays!
Made up a full house drinking game
On my way.
He said he didn't want to go down on me so I told him we were going to have an oral stalemate.
if i get arrested im counting on you to get a picture of it
I didn't think you wanted your identity stolen along with your dignity. My mistake.
wow. that really looks like a penis. not a top hat
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