I am a bulletproof tiger!
Haha. Nice, be careful tonight.
I'm gonna have to get my windshield replaced. Is the keg beat?
i was concerned by what you said you would do for a snickers. It wasn't even a Klondike bar.
If I knew losing weight would mean this many fucking creepers I would've just stayed fat.
Do you think the party boat will still go out if there is a hurricane?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I come back into the room and you're grinding with the person in the mascot suit.
And there was a legally blind kid in a ref costume doing surprisingly well at beer pong who was passing out business cards
Guess who just got a Christian Beliefs class to seriously discuss the spiritual implications of dolphin rape?
I had 2 bags of iv saline fuilds for brunch and the buffet at the strip club for dinner. happy easter.
you said I shouldn't try to fill the void in my meaningless life with dicks but i am trying and it totally works
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
please remind me of this if i ever start out a night declaring my goal is to see how much american honey it takes for me to forget who i am again
Well he wouldn't kiss me so I made out with a German girl, took a shot with my boss, and I think I sprained my ankle. It was a quiet Sunday for me.
Can we relax the "married man" rule just once?
I lost my pants last night, she told me I walked into their room after leaving 5 minutes before wearing my thong.....and no pants. I have absolutely no idea where I left them.
There we go, I shall begin my attempt to achieve whore status today
I did a line off of, and then danced on top of a table older than this country.
Harvard is great.
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