Something growled at me in your dark backyard last nt. Hoping it was my landwalking laser sharks and not Andy.
totally poinked my lawyers daughter in his hot tub last night. i figure getting off is just compensation for not getting me off.
I don't even want to think what you did to boys being that drunk and horny.
Then I wouldn't suggest looking at the pictures from last night.
Hurry there's a dancing lesbian. She's a jumper and has impeccable jazz hands.
He may or may not be blacked out. We put him to sleep in the community bathroom. He's wrapped in your blanket and he's already puked on it twice. Using your blanket was my idea. Maybe next time you'll ask before taking my vodka.
She fucking ripped my chandelier out of my ceiling. How does that make her a keeper?
So squirting runs in the family.
It's like she can't drink without using a flambongo
You're a college freshman. Its your job to be pathetic. And drunk. But mostly pathetic
While you wait, fill out your state patrol application. Not trying to be your mom, I just really want to fuck a cop.
i want to have his babies. i NEED to. shit i wont even ask for child support, he's that goodlooking.
But in defense of this shit summer we've had, I totally perfected my shotgunning skills. I have achieved my summer goal.
Walked into a bathroom stall to pop an addy for my three back-to-back finals today. Felt like Clark Kent walking into a phonebooth.
I think I met my butt stuff soulmate
How does it make you feel that I can't control my vagina around you?
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