So why didn't Edward and the Cullens just kill Hitler?
You need to stop watching Twilight.
I didn't notice until this morning that he had a six inch RAT TAIL...
what if cement was really a rainbow color they just secretly paint it grey so as not to distract drivers
are you high?
Please stop bringing your one night stands to Sunday brunch.
They're drinking Schnapps out of Spaghetti-o's cans. Please come pick me up.
just looked at his mug shot... not really my type
I have started doing my homework in bars. It just feels right.
Tell me you remember me getting a tampon from the girl throwing up in the next stall
He filled our room with little plastic cups of beer so the only way I could get out was by drinking them all.
Got free coffee because I told the guy at starbucks the pleats in his khaki pants made his cock look big.
No one figured out why I brought along the vibrating massager.
Her boyfriend was hitting on other girls while drunk. But, she said she was okay with it because she is a feminist and she supports all women's decisions.
He's reached the drunk point where he's trying to convince the family to buy falcons as pets. Can't wait to see how my steak turns out
Just had to double check that I had pants on. THAT kind of weekend.
He kept squeezing my butt and telling me how smart I was
Randomize
