WTF. you left me with no condoms and you ate all my mac and cheese. scumbag.
You drink too much
No, I drink just the right amount - too often.
Smoking bowl and applying to community college. I now know how I got here.
its not college until your roomate walks in on you having sex in his bed. twice
we were sitting in the bathtub when she came in with her grandpas cane adn beat us until lindsay passed out
I'm flagged. Drank strippers water. Flashed Dave tryin to get a job here. You order the shots. Green tea betch.
You're not on my level until you shop at Petsmart for sex accessories.
He tried to take a picture of me naked but only got my ass. I don't know his name but if my butt is a guys wallpaper, that's the one I boned.
Dad got stoned the other day and bought us potty training seats for when we have children
why isn't there a kind of gay where i let guys give me head but they don't expect me to give it back? i could be that kind of gay
He was that good?
And also ice skating can blow me. Goodnight, love you!
I started crying during a meeting at work and now I'm sitting on my couch drinking boxed wine at 1:30 in the afternoon. Fuck you too estrogen.
He ate me out while I finished season 1 of Stranger Things. If that's not a modern day relationship goal, then I don't know what is.
yknow last night was like... the third night in a row alex woke me up to make sure i wasn't dead and tbh it's sorta sweet.
Remember how slutty I thought she was when we were freshmen?
Yeah! But that was a long time ago. Plus, you use your sluttiness for good!
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