We were so bored at work tonight that we were in dry storage taking turns pouring the boxed wine we use for cooking into each others' mouths. I think I'm starting to understand the "problem" aspect of "drinking problem."
Do they fuck in the end of "Lady and the Tramp" or am i just wasting my time
i feel like im playing gay clue. i have to figure out where i am, who took me home, and what he put in me
so I made out with a lobbyist last night. im officially a resident of D.C
It was the classiest, most strategic and inspired vomiting I've ever witnessed. Like a blind mans first sunrise. A priests first prayer. Or a virgins first orgasm.
i want to be friends with one of those mini shredded wheat men.
He won't let me go to the bars unless I can manage to get flip flops on.
Sounds like he's doing this for your own good...
You tired to make us "vodka tacos". Which was just you dipping pitas in vodka.
Any good?
Well. FUCK YA. But that's beside the point
i may or may not have triedto pee like a boy and then dipped cheese ino the olive oil
I got her number but I don't think I'll be able to smash, I was pretending to be British AND I forgot her name
Found a trail of Taco Bell hot sauce packets through the garage to our back door and cheese in my bra. I'll say it was a successful Sunday Funday.
Oh lord. I have no recollection. I just got up. Surveying the damage. Found phone with messages out by pool. Still have not located my top or determined when i stopped wearing it
New goal find someone I love enough to use these Japanese pancake flavored condoms on
I don’t mind that he’s uncircumcised. It’s the fact that he talks about the Bible immediately after we have sex .
There is sex in the air. Be careful where you walk.
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