You make homosexuality sound like a cult.
I just made $100 from people paying me not to get naked at the party... I need those P90X dvds
He's slept with 25.5 people. Wtf is a half?
please promise me that no matter what happens you will keep me away from the children
You tried to put a condom on my dog, then he ate it.
I can't believe I've come to a point in my life where sex for a birthday present is acceptable
OH DEAR GOD. He looks like if u licked him he'd taste like bourbon, sex and sunshine.
All I know is that at 4 am I was walking down the street in my bra and his shorts and Im pretty sure I passed my grandma on her morning walk.
Yeah I'm just gonna shower and drink a gallon of coffee and drunkenly write my research paper. It'll be fine
Yeah, we agreed, but I feel like I need at least one more ride on the bonecoaster
All I know is that I have a black eye and an extra $200 in my wallet. Other than that, clueless.
Why can't he just dump me? This is like a baby seal clubbing the hunter
dude. i woke up on a random lawn wearing only my boxers, with all my clothes hung in the branches of a nearby tree... no more shrooms
My boss spotted an injured PIGEON outside the front door this morning (at 3:30am) and requested that I catch it and take it to the vet. Catch it with what! Take it where!These requests have gone too far...
Want to help me interview candidates to replace my Cub/Boy Toy when he leaves for grad school next month?
Randomize
