Yep. About to get on pornhub to spill some Christmas cheer
Does your throat ever get sore from being choked too hard or do u think I'm just getting sick??
I found his backpack for the weekend. All it had was ping pong balls, mardi gras beads, and Tums.
God damn him and his understanding ways and little hip muscle things.
She just hopped out of the car at a red light to pet the baby Jesus in the nativity scene.
Not worth it.
You kept challenging people to a cartwheel contest...when someone finally agreed, you cartwheeled into some chicks face, then tried to propose to her as an apology. Fyi, she said no
We spilled a whole bottle of mouth wash and then proceeded to roll around and make out in it. At least I smell minty fresh.
He told me that if I were a guy he'd go gay for me. Honestly don't know how to take that.
I don't know how we managed to stay up but we actually sat in front of her open refrigerator for god knows how long while she ate salami straight out of the package with her fingers and I laughed. It was a trainwreck.
The heart of my unhappiness in my job is that it's not a place where coworkers and I can draw dicks on everything to amuse each other
Tell him "come over but don't bring a flaccid dick"
Wear something tight
Bjs and tacos. That's my life.
I sent a picture of my balls to one of my best friends, so basically it was an average night.
Are you saying being a wizard and going to hogwarts wouldn't be life changing, believe in magic you fucking muggle
I'm wine drunk & this is not good news for anybody
Randomize
