i wouldnt be suprised if in indian your name meant "walking lie"
What should our trivia night team be named?
Define Statutory
So we made editble underwear with fruit roll ups and fruit by the foot
when did we get to this "texting at random" level on friendship?
i didnt like the question options for my yahoo account..so i made up the question and it was "favorite bathroom to shit in"
I feel like someone was just looking at my memory and took out an eraser and was like "nope he doesnt need that"
because you can't take the autistic girl you're babysitting on a blunt ride.
Do you remember snorting allspice and yelling at doughnut shop girl?
I was still in a towel. We hadn't even started drinking yet and the champagne bottle dropped and exploded literally up into my vagina.
Sounds good! I plan on writing a book entitled: I've Probably Done Cocaine In Your Bathroom. A tell-all by Lauren.
well I was pissed. first he yelled at me for having my own condoms, then he got mad when they didn't fit him. Dude, I only fuck magnum men.
Hey guy that stepped on my foot, don't slap my ass to apologize.
I yelled at the cab driver to slow down because my unborn children live here, and pointed to my uterus. I think my message was lost in translation though because he immediately offered me his card...
I legitimately just had to leave work because I am too hungover. The front office ladies keep making fun of me.
I broke my wrist trying to give him a blow job...
And this is why we can’t have nice things
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