bl l w
this should be fun to decipher. I'd like to buy a vowel.
did the hipsters beat you up because you are more ironic than they are?
You drew a lightning bolt on your eye and stomach in eye liner and made me sing Poker face with you in harmonies. I never knew you were still a music major when you were drunk.
you woke me up in the middle of the night to tell me you were taking off your pants and it was not an invitation.
now that im off birth control, the world is a much scarier place
And then she banged "the first Italian rapper"
he got mad when I told him his flaccid penis looked like a sleeping kitten
She told me a motorboat isn't successful unless they come out gasping for air. MISSION ACCOMPLISHED!!!
I don't see how you can turn down creme brulee and orgasms
Don't send me heart emojis when you're jacking off.
im single, its not even nine am on Valentine's day and I've already gotten laid. suck it relationships
Wait, but now I'm curious. In what position were y'all when the cops came? Were you guys butt ass naked in the car? 😂😂
I kept telling you not to give them blowjobs, but you kept screaming back, "it's okay, we're friends on facebook!"
I realized just how much my daughter is MINE when I heard her tell someone "Go shit yourself" yesterday.
Damn. Looks like nobody I know is doing anything interesting. Guess it's another slut-it-up-with-strangers sort of night.
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