I just rolled a spliff on a dora the explorer tv tray. Preschool education meet afterschool special.
I just found 22 drunken videos and 4 naked pictures on my phone. We'll start the bidding at $5
Just found out I reached my $2500 deductible and I have a $5 million dollar cap on my health insurance. Let's get drunk and do something recklessly stupid tonight.
I had his cock in my mouth and he still wouldn't shut up about Star Wars.
Any idea who the guy in my bed tagged as rattlesnake dick might be?
it's been dubbed the summer of antibiotics
Have the decency to NOT HANG YOU'RE USED CONDOM ON THE FOOSEBALL HANDLES! Dickhead.
Dude if it is ever said "everybody get inside the police helicopter just showed up.". That means it was a successful party.
I'm so hungover. I just keep eating the otter pops I'm trying to use to get rid of my hickies.
You took a selfie with my hard dick and sent it to Scott with the caption 'Toldja'. It was hard to forget you're a teenager after that
I touched the butt once. 'Twas an experience with the greatness of legend. So I touched it once more.
I haven’t sent any nudes yet in 2018.
That’s not true...is it?
Ive seen a birth plenty of times, pretty awesome like a bear trying to climb out of a volkswagon.
I'll start working on my manners when you stop using please and thank you in the bedroom.
My psychiatrist just sent me a dick pic
Randomize
