I am now the proud owner of a 10-12 year old's Optimus Prime costume from Walmart. Tomorrow is going to be a good day.
didn't have any spoons so I beer bonged my chicken noodle soup. I fucking love camping.
I get a nice feeling when i open my fridge and see it filled with thirty beers and half a leftover jimmy johns pickle.
They woke me up at 4 in the morning screaming "drunk adventure time!" because they needed a sober chaperone. They made me walk them around the block shoeless.
I left puerto rico a week ago and my vagina still smells like coconut.
Just started taking liver support pills. Welcome to Senior year.
You're about to fuck a guy with a sweatshirt tied around his waist like a mensurating 13 year old. Get your priorities straight, you're graduating tomorrow.
Okay. thanks for sacraficing your body and risking aids for our snowcone business.
Stop trying to get a gf and raw dog some forest beasts like sasquatch
Now that makes it sound like you had sex with a guy in batman costume and you never took the mask off so you can't 100 percent be sure.
He was so drunk and proud of his 6-month-gym-results he actually made me touch his whole naked body.
It feels like I was drinking gasoline last night.
I was basically just fingering myself and thinking about space.
It's the kind of dick you travel across the country for
that lady just saw me taking a picture of her baby... It's time to leave.
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