in vegas stuck in the middle of a pride right now
Pride?
thats a pack of cougars
go fuck yourself
you definitely held a convo with a hobo
we have a secret handshake
I can't go out tonight I need to save my money for important things.....like rogaine and ecstasy.
today is monday, i feel like we should do something illegal
I will fight anything that is not spinning right now
Rumble strips road head = magical
I'd have paid money to see Cookie Monster playing with a vibrator
Well five day drinking adventure in appreciation of cinco de drinko under the belt, great way to start may
This is me trying to take a picture to send to grandma. At 4. We were trying to look sober.
there is a smiley face on my leg painted in blood
I'm pretty sure that's yours.
When you didn't respond I figured you must be busy so I'm home in my pj's 2 beers in and stoned from weed I got from my gaybours. They also gave me cake. I'm not moving from this recliner.
Also, do you have any insight as to WHY I have a note saved from the 17th of June that reads *clears throat*, "you got that swanky blues libido"
I wish there was a tumbleweed emoji. Because that would describe my vagina.
No, he wouldn't have sex with me....but on the brightside I managed to fit the entire falafel sandwhich in my purse!!
Did you get good sleep?
I dreamt that I was a lipstick lesbian in the 1950s, working at Walgreens and solving mysteries.
So yes.
Randomize
