Nope. Can't afford girlfriends. Still looking for the 25 year old bisexual tripled who owns a brewery or a casino.. the search continues....
We probably shouldn't have forced that guys cat to drink the grey goose while we were doing lines in his bathroom
You skyped me last night to show me the girl passed out on your bed.
test run with donkey pinata disastrous. broken glass and tequila EVERYWHERE
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I had to stop mid sex to take my turn on words with friends so he wouldn't get suspicious. Hookup of the night helped me. We won.
Next person that gets my dog drunk is paying to have my carpet cleaned. I am tired of getting up to pee and stepping in dog barf.
Her boyfriend caught us fucking and said "cool you're cheating too" and left.
You live a charmed life.
the night probably should have been over when the guy let her fill out my mechanical bull waver for me because i couldn't read
Is everyone touching their nose at me a sign that I should stop snorting vicodin off my phone in the bathroom at school?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I saw a groundgog last night outside my back door. I now have a new wedding gift idea.
She just won 2 Grammys at 17 and were sitting here hotboxing our half bathroom
Dude, they hit that lizard part of my brain that tells me to fuck people.
Preach sister.
Clearly you need to take sleeping pills and put your phone in the toilet
Just got a handjob in my psych lecture. You were right, going to class is paying off.
Hey mike is locked out, sleeping on the common room couch, no idea where his pants are nor does he know where he is. When you get this let him in? And let me know ur alive too!
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