Call me so I can make it juicy for ya
I will be home in 10 min. Dont be beating off on the couch
enter at your own risk
I have started doing my homework in bars. It just feels right.
After waking up today, I would like to find the Jesus preachers on campus to ask for help in asking for forgiveness to God.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Last night he tried to put me in their garbage can and then sprayed me with a fire extinguisher in their kitchen...that house is always interesting
Yea.. I remember nothing. Except that the taxi driver was 56 years old and apparently never cheated on his wife.
He seriously just asked the doctor if taking the medicine for chlamydia was going to cut into his drinking time. Never let it be said that he is not dedicated.
I picked the lock on the bathroom door and sang him a song while he pooped. Why is he mad?
Explain it like you would if you were talking to a 5 yo
Wait no, like you would to a stoned high school freshman.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's whatever. I just want to see his dick again
You seriously don't remember crying about how much you miss your mom right before we hooked up?
What'd I miss?
Erotic hypnosis and studded dog collars.
My vagina still hurts from yesterday. That's the last time I think riding a mop bucket is a good idea. Don't let me do that again
Say whatever the fuck you want about me, but leave my deceased cat out of it.
So, I can officially cross "getting eaten out in a church confession booth" off my bucket list.
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