No better way to find a friend than to offer cyber sex and see what happens
i know they say sex burns calories but i think i actually gained weight from just lying there for the whole 2 minutes
Once again there IS no outside bathroom. Never has been, that is the balcony
Will you come get her? She's trying to get the pizza guy into the bathtub.
I found a big gulp cup full of vomit in my freezer, are you behind this?
cashier rang me up and said, "white people are funny." like i'm NOT the only white person to buy just lettuce & 40 glow sticks
How would I get in touch with Carly Rae Jepsen if I wanted to thank her for the loss of my virginity?
I said geronimo as I came I'm not sure if he appreciated the doctor who reference or was just confused
FYI, grandma is already drunk and using a bed sheet as a table cloth.
We're following a guy carrying a door for beer pong at his place..join us when you are deemed sober enough to leave the hospital.
Dude, I'm pretty sure I slept with my TA's girlfriend
I didn't even have pants on and you think I had an agenda
You have not lived until you've had your brains fucked out on a broken down Tunnel of Love ride. Life is good.
But we made up last night and had unbelievably crazy sex tonight. I legit went blind for like 15mins from him choking me. It was awesome
How is there a hawk inside this house? More importantly how the hell is he handling it without any gear?
Randomize
