he used a semicolon in his bootycall text, of course he's not gonna go down on me.
is it sad that i think every plant i pass on the highway looks like a plant from farmville?
Well, shes famous, an alcoholic, hillarious, and has big boobs.... Pretty much my only aspirations in life.
is there a reason why there is cup of piss in the fridge?
no
She's never allowed to turn 21 again
I've had more sex in the two weeks since we broke up than I ever had in any two weeks we were together.
So..he has a girlfriend BUT she rarely writes on her wall and is only in 5 of his 371 tagged photos and her default pic is her with some other dude. It cant be serious
Oh my god you need to get off of facebook.
You paid a stripper $40 to choke me out last night.
At first I was horrified but then he explained that he shave a "soul patch" on his balls... And I was still horrified, but I went with it.
I did not get laid last night bc my condoms were too small. I'm allowed to be dreary
Can we just get drunk and watch the Birdcage please I have no tolerance for straight men today
there is a smiley face on my leg painted in blood
I'm pretty sure that's yours.
Due to this morning's events my new porn name is Reepa Nipplov.
you are the only girl i know that would bring a plate of cookies to a hook up. but they were awesome. thanks. next time cupcakes?
What the hell kind of sad excuse for a bottom are you
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